Card 1 of 8

Authority vs. Influence

What It Is

Authority gets behavior. Influence gets the person.
Autonomy + Understanding = Ownership

Red Flags

  • Telling without the why
  • "Just do it" mentality
  • Expecting immediate compliance
  • One-way communication
  • Ignoring concerns
  • Taking resistance personally

Green Flags

  • Questions about why
  • Genuine curiosity
  • People share concerns openly
  • Voluntary effort & enthusiasm
  • Problem-solving energy
  • Commitment beyond deadline

In Action

Authority: People do the minimum, then stop.
Influence: People own it. They carry it forward.
"Lead with influence. The change sticks when people choose it, not obey it. Remember: Compliance is temporary, Commitment is forever."
Authority → Compliance. Influence → Commitment.
Card 2 of 8

Five Stages of Grief

What It Is (People Grieve Change)

1. DENIAL: "We don't really need this!" (self-protection)
2. ANGER: "Why are we doing this?" (fear sideways)
3. BARGAINING: "Can we run both systems?" (negotiate control)
4. DEPRESSION: "I'll never figure this out" (overwhelm)
5. ACCEPTANCE: "Okay, let's do this" (ready to adapt)

Red Flags

  • Stuck in same stage too long
  • Pretending stages should be skipped
  • Rushing people to acceptance
  • Taking resistance personally
  • Expecting linear movement
  • Isolating grief emotions

Green Flags

  • Moving through stages (any order)
  • Asking questions at each stage
  • Vulnerability about concerns
  • Small steps forward
  • Seeking support
  • Trying despite fear

In Action

Watch for: Denial → Anger (blaming you) → Bargaining (workarounds) → Depression (overwhelm) → Acceptance (engagement).
"Meet them where they are. Grief takes time AND support. Both matter. Not everyone moves through at same speed or same order. That's normal."
Card 3 of 8

The Drama Triangle

What It Is (Three Toxic Roles)

VICTIM: "This is being done TO me" | No choice | Powerless.
RESCUER: "Let me HELP" | Over-helpful | Enables avoidance.
PERSECUTOR: "You're forcing this" | The villain | Often the change itself.

Red Flags

  • "Poor me" energy everywhere
  • People blaming you or system
  • Rescuers jumping in to fix
  • Silent withdrawal or shutdown
  • Complaining without action
  • Playing small

Green Flags

  • Owning their role in the change
  • Taking action on own terms
  • Asking for help, not waiting
  • Addressing issues directly
  • Problem-solving attitude
  • Building capability

In Action

You must create a supportive environment where they are able to move themselves OUT of this triangle into Empowerment.
"Your job is supporting them in finding the exit sign. Key takeaway: We as leaders support, not help. That is literally rescuing. The triangle keeps people stuck in powerlessness. Your job is liberation."
Card 4 of 8

Empowerment Dynamic

What It Is (The Way Out)

CREATOR: "I own how I adapt" | I have agency | Takes responsibility.
COACH: "I'm here to support YOU" | Asks powerful questions | Facilitates clarity.
CHALLENGER: "I'm holding you accountable" | In a supportive way | Believes in growth.

Red Flags

  • Being their rescuer
  • Avoiding accountability
  • Over-helping creates dependency
  • Making decisions for them
  • Not setting clear boundaries
  • Letting them stay victimized

Green Flags

  • Finding their own solutions
  • Asking you powerful questions
  • Owning their part in change
  • Rising to the challenge
  • Building capability
  • Becoming the leader

In Action

Creator says: "I'm figuring this out."
Coach asks: "How can I support you?"
Challenger says: "I believe you can. Here's the deadline."
"You're not the rescuer. You're the guide. Let them be the hero of their story. Creator + Coach + Challenger = Commitment. This is how you build leaders."
Card 5 of 8

E: Expectations

What It Is (The Foundation)

THE WHAT: We're changing. That's decided.
THE WHY: The reason & definition of success.
THE HOW: Timeline, phases, milestones, what success looks like.
WHAT YOU'LL DO: Attention, support, transparency, resources.
WHAT I NEED: Behavior, effort, openness, feedback.

Red Flags

  • Vague or shifting expectations
  • "We'll figure it out as we go"
  • One announcement, no follow-up
  • Missing WHY entirely
  • No timeline clarity
  • No definition of success

Green Flags

  • People can repeat back expectations
  • Timeline AND why explained
  • Expectations written & shared
  • Regular check-ins on progress
  • You commit to YOUR expectations
  • Clear success metrics

In Action

Weak: "We're changing to the new system."
Strong: "We're moving to X system by DATE. Here's why and here's my commitment to supporting you."
"Spend real time on this. Everything else builds on these expectations. Don't rush it. Expectations = foundation. Everything stacks on top. Shaky foundation = shaky adoption."
Card 6 of 8

A: Accountability

What It Is (Hold the Line)

Accountability = Responsibility. The change IS happening (non-negotiable). BUT it comes WITH: Clarity, milestones, check-ins, resources.
Key shift: "You don't choose THE CHANGE. You DO choose HOW you engage."

Red Flags

  • Announce then disappear
  • No check-ins or progress tracking
  • Punishment-like accountability
  • Changing timeline without notice
  • Making it punitive
  • Accountability without support

Green Flags

  • Regular check-ins about HOW they're doing
  • You're removing barriers they name
  • You show up consistently
  • People feel supported AND held accountable
  • Progress tracking is transparent
  • Adjustments made when needed

In Action

Weak: "You have to learn this by Friday."
Strong: "By Friday you'll know X. I'll be here Tuesday/Thursday to answer questions. How can I support you?"
"Accountability with abandonment breeds resentment. Accountability with support breeds commitment. You're not the villain. You're the steady hand holding the line with empathy."
Card 7 of 8

A: Advocacy

What It Is (Invite them back in)

Advocacy is where VICTIM becomes CREATOR. You invite input. You listen. You remove barriers.
"Where can I support you?"
"How should we phase this in for your team?"
"Tell me more."

Red Flags

  • Ask for input, then ignore it
  • Acting like you already know what they need
  • Making changes without consulting them
  • One-directional communication
  • Listening to respond, not understand
  • Not acting on what they share

Green Flags

  • People feel heard (even if you can't change everything)
  • They're offering ideas & solutions
  • Barriers they name GET REMOVED
  • They're helping each other adapt
  • Trust in your listening
  • Sense of partnership

In Action

Victim thinking: "They're making me do this."
Creator thinking: "I had input. They listened. We solved it together."
"When you say 'Where can I support you?', you're officially inviting them back into the game. Advocacy = Sacred message: You have a voice. You matter. Your input shapes this."
Card 8 of 8

T: Trust

What It Is (Built one commitment at a time)

Trust is NOT a feeling. It's a track record. Built ONE KEPT EXPECTATION at a time.
• They get voice in HOW (change itself isn't optional).
• You let people choose their learning path (within deadline).
• You step back. Let them own it.

Red Flags

  • You said it, then didn't do it
  • Micromanaging how they adopt
  • Pulling support too early
  • Making decisions about them without them
  • Not following through on commitments
  • Reversing earlier decisions

Green Flags

  • People BELIEVE you mean what you say
  • They're taking ownership of change
  • Early adopters ARE inspiring others
  • You're stepping back, they're stepping up
  • Questions show confidence, not panic
  • Commitment grows over time

In Action

Week 1: You set expectations. You show up.
Week 3: You're still showing up. Trust grows.
Week 8: They own it. You step back. TRUST IS EARNED.
"When people trust YOU, they commit. When they trust THEMSELVES, they become leaders. Trust turns adopters into change champions. This is the endgame."

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